Building off of our creative writing assignment in class, you are to select a song and create a scene based off of that song.
Add a youtube link to your song so we can listen to the song as we read your passage. Try not write more than 500 words. It is important that you create a scene that is self-contained; you aren't composing a film.
Don't forget to use ideas like we used in class: appearance, body language, tone, dialogue, colors, and more. And add detail! Post your song (via Youtube URL) and your scene to the blog!
Visit this post to remind yourself of some of the wonderful examples and feel free to mimic writing styles that you enjoy!
When you're finished, post to this blog!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_OTE9aC-0U
ReplyDeleteIt is a clear summer morning and a man, Evan is strolling through the streets of Hong Kong, thinking about his girlfriend. It was an early 6 o'clock and quiet. Reminiscing about those delightful moments with her, the corners of his lips turn up in the slightest smile. Thinking about all those times she laughed at his corny jokes, those times he smiled when she did the stupidest things, those times when she called him cute and cheering her up when she's upset. Even the littlest memories come flooding back to him, reminding him of his beautiful girlfriend. To him, she is perfect. She is gorgeous, she has the best personality, she can make everyone laugh, and she is easily likable. He thinks about the next day, they were supposed to go introduce her to his parents.
The next morning, he picks up Stephanie, his girlfriend.
"Hey, i missed you yesterday." Evan said, smiling.
"I did too !" Stephanie replied.
Arriving at his house door, Evan held Stephanie's hand while ringing the doorbell.
"Come in, come in!" his parents exclaim. Stephanie walks into his house and is struck by its size. Throughout her entire life, she hasn't seen a house this big and grand. The ceilings reach so high up and the beautiful chandeliers sparkle in the light. "Please, sit. Make yourself at home!" Evan's parents say. Cautiously, Stephanie sits on the edge of the sofa, as if not wanting to leave a crease in the leather. "So what do you want to persue in your career, Stephanie?"
"I plan on becoming a police officer. I want to help Hong Kong's citizens fight for what's right." Evan's parents exchanged a look but continued to keep up the conversation with her.
"Where is your family from, Stephanie?"
We're from a small village in Shanghai." she replied.
The next morning, Stephanie ignored all his texts and phone calls and Evan didn't know what had happened. He didn't understand. So, in order for him to be with the love of his life, he needs to do all he can to win it back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5aTwvWEQD8
ReplyDeleteDaddy's Little Girl by Frankie J
A young woman in her mid-twenties sits on a black sofa across from an older woman. A cordless phone lies on the coffee table in between them.
“Janice, please call him. I know he would give anything to hear your voice again,” the older woman reaches across the table and places her hand on the younger girl’s knee.
“I can’t, mom,” Janice breaks away from her mother’s gaze, searching aimlessly for something else to look at.
Her eyes land on a framed photo of herself, mom, and him. She chokes back a sob and the tears that suddenly pour out of her eyes betray her real emotions.
In a flash, she was walking on memory lane.
Him.
There was that one time when mom was away on a business trip and he attempted to roast a chicken. When he took the tray out of the oven, the chicken was still raw. He had forgotten to defrost it. They both laughed, and ended up eating microwavable pizza that night.
Sometimes, he would bring her to the coffee shop where he would play poker with his friends. He would proudly walk with her on his shoulders, saying “This little one is going to be a princess someday, fellas.” And she would giggle delightedly at the thought of becoming royalty.
Then came high school. “Do you want me to drive you today? Or bring you lunch?” he would ask.
“No, I’m fine,” she rolls her eyes, irritated at his persistence. “Please stop asking me. I’m a big girl now; I can take care of myself.” And even though he was hurt, he continued to look after her.
It was during these years that she began to date someone. His name was Chase Anderson, the bad boy of school. When she brought Chase to meet the family, he immediately disapproved. And without her knowledge, he went ahead and confronted Chase, telling him, “I don’t want you ever to speak to her again. Don’t you come back here, you’re not welcome.”
Needless to say, Chase broke it off with her, and she was devastated. “I hate you!” she would remind him, “I can’t believe what you did! I remember you used to say that you wanted me happy! You’re such a despicable human being!”
She received a call one day in her senior year of high school. It was from the hospital. She remembered picking it up, ready to yell at whoever was on the other line.
“Hello?”
“Hi, this is a nurse from St. Josephine’s hospital. It is with regret that we bring this news to you. James Smith has been diagnosed with cancer. He is still in the early stages of this disease, and we will do everything possible to eradicate this cancer, though there is no guarantee that we will be successful. Thank you for your time.”
Click.
That day, it rained.
Regaining consciousness, she decides to pick up the phone.
It rings once, twice.
Then, on the other end, a man answers the phone, not before wheezing, “Hello?”
And she begins to cry again, “Daddy, it’s me, Janice.”
Word count: 517
Deleteonly 500 words? aww man....i dont think i can do less than 800....cuz i always write too much when it comes to fiction....what should i do??
ReplyDeleteD:
also, ignore this...this is definitely not the response thingie!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7QCCGhNWJ4
ReplyDeleteThis is a battle for life and death against cancer in a hospital.
0:37 The cancer starts to dwindle as the man struggles for breath.
1:19 All the cancer that can be seen in the image is gone! The man's breath returns to normal, and he looks up at his wife. They embrace.
2:01 The man suddenly stops breathing and falls back onto the bed.
2:22 Doctors get him breathing again, but his heart rate is still very slow.
2:49 He is more stable now, and his wife kisses him.
2:57 He finally opens his eyes again, and he hugs his wife. He goes out of the room with her, and to check-out.
3:16 At reception, he begins to fill out the forms, when suddenly a gunshot is heard.
3:52 It turns out that was just the machine that the doctors had used to treat the cancer. If the cancer had gone on any longer, he would almost certainly have died.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-6EwdDiopQ
ReplyDelete"Poison and Wine"- The Civil Wars
It was a snowy evening as Chris' shoes sloshed through the wet snow. His scarf covered most of his face, but his slightly red eyes were exposed. He was walking back to his house from Julie’s house. They have been quarreling a lot for the past two weeks and every time they talked, their relationship seemed to worsen.
The fighting started when Julie found all of Chris’ secrets. Julie just spat poison at Chris’ face every day.
Chris had been cheating on her with Alice, Julie’s best friend. Today, Julie found out Alice was pregnant. Her usual soft eyes turned hard.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
“Y-yeah. I-I’m so sorry Jules. I was -“Chris stammered.
Before he could finish his sentence, Chris felt pain on his cheek.
“HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME CHRISTOPHER?!” she screamed as tears started pouring out. “YOU DON’T JUST GO SLEEPING AROUND WITH MY BEST FRIEND! WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND ARE YOU? WE’VE BEEN DATING FOR A YEAR AND…and…you said you loved me…”
Those words hit Chris hard. Suddenly, he couldn’t control himself. His fist jabbed into her stomach and threw her to the floor. His hands were around her neck in the next second. Julie was gasping for air.
“NEVER. THINK. I. STOPPED. LOVING. YOU,” Chris screamed. “I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.” Tears were streaming out of Chris’ eyes now, too. Then he saw Julie-blue and weak. Chris quickly let go.
“I-I’m so sorry Jules-“
“Get out. Please.”
Chris finally got back home and the tears already dried up. He silently walked to his coffee stared at a picture of Julie. Her dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes were so beautiful. He felt tears coming again, but sucked them up as his phone rang. He answered with a strong ‘Hello?’
The next second he dropped his phone and dashed to his car, on his way to the hospital.
As he arrived to the hospital, Chris was thrown against the wall as Julie’s dad attacked him.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”
Before Chris could respond, the doctor tore them apart and informed them that Julie had a heart attack.
“Is she alright?!” Mr. Harding and Chris both screamed.
The doctor looked very troubled. “I’m afraid……she’s gone.”
Chris’ heart tore into a million pieces. He felt so numb. He thought about the last thing he said and did to her. He almost choked her to death. Why was he so stupid? He quickly shot back to reality and pushed pass everyone. He had to get to her. He swung the door open and grabbed her cold hands.
“Julie,” he whispered. “I love you. I love you so much. PLEASE don’t leave me. I beg you, PLEASE.”
There was no movement. No words. Chris squeezed her hands and started bawling.
“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you so much. I always will.”
As he said those words, he picked the ring out his pocket and stuck it in her cupped hands.
498 words
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJanet (Seoyoung) Choi
ReplyDelete"Under the Water" by The Pretty Reckless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEIvoWqkB3Q
361 words
"I want you to think back to the first time you did drugs." "Why did you do it?"
A moment of silence occurred as Taylor studied the window, looking anywhere but the man's face. For a moment, she almost lost control of her thoughts.
"What was happening in your life during that time?"
Taylor could feel the therapist's gaze on her face and began to feel irritated. Then, without warning, her mind brought forward the unwanted memories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(memory)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taylor wished her parents would stop yelling at each other. Doing her homework, she tried not to think about the packet of small crystals her friend gave to her promising that it would give her bliss.
"Stop being so selfish! I do my best trying to provide for this family while you go to the bar and get yourself drunk every night!" The voice of her dad pierced through Taylor's concentration on homework.
"That was one time and it's not like you don't do it either!" Taylor could hear her mom scream back. The sound of stomping feet followed.
Taylor walked down the hallway to her mom's room and looked in to see her mom drinking. Her mom then caught Taylor's reflection in the mirror and walked up to her.
"Mom...are you okay?" Taylor tentatively asked and was met with a door slammed in front of her face.
Looking for her dad, Taylor walked down the stairs only to find him gone. Her family was breaking apart but she didn't know how to fix it. That was emphasized by the sudden shattering noise that indicated that her mom was throwing things around in her room again.
She ran back to her room and shut the door. Filled with the need to make the feeling of helplessness go away, she reached for the bag of drugs, lit a candle, and realized that she was going to hit a very low point in her life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(end of memory)~~
"It was nothing," Taylor finally replied, looking straight into the therapist's eyes, and walked out of the office, wanting to go back into the high of drugs. She believed that nobody would understand what drove her to the addiction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRMevGc3934
ReplyDeleteI Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift
Abby Edwards pd 4
She watched him from a distance, as he began dancing with another girl. He was wearing dark dress pants and a classy white button down. The girl was wearing a simple blue dress. Allison couldn’t help but begin to feel a tad bit jealous. She remembered how, not long ago, it was her in that position. Dancing with him, laughing at his corny jokes, mesmerized by his sharp green eyes. She forced herself to turn away, she couldn’t bear to look. Her heart physically hurt. She wanted nothing more than to go back. Back to when it was her holding his hand.
He didn’t even speak to her anymore. Maybe if he hadn’t completely cut her off, she wouldn’t be so miserable. So hurt and broken. Maybe if he hadn’t decided to completely ignore her and forget everything they had ever had, maybe then she wouldn’t be so obsessed with him. Maybe she would have finally been able to move on. It wasn’t fair. He got to continue on with his life but leave her stuck in the past.
As she remembered all the times he had lied to her, all the times that he had taken advantage of her and the time he ultimately betrayed her, her jealousy turned to anger.
As hard as it was accept, she knew that she had been used. He never truly cared about her. The worst part of the entire situation is that deep down, she had known the entire time. How could someone like Chase Ellington have feelings for her?
Allison was drawn out of her thoughts by the sight of Chase and his new mistress dashing out the room, hand in hand. He was staring at the girl almost as if she were a piece of meat. Poor thing, she had no idea. As envious as Ally had felt, she began to feel a new emotion for the girl. Sorrow. She probably believed that he loved her. Poor thing was probably naive as Ally had been, oh so long ago. She had no idea that it wasn't possible for Chase to love. He had no heart.
The Chevin - Champion
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42t5O35V5Bo
0:00 Noise was all around him. This was expected in Wembley Stadium, England's biggest stadium and home of the FA cup final. He was the surprise signing of the season and was about to start against the mighty Chelsea. Kurt could hear remarks from the media and even Manchester United fans such as "You're not worth 40 million!" and "he's only seventeen!" all made towards him as he left the locker rooms.
0:14 The coach spoke to him earlier. "No one sees what i see in you, You have such talent, and that's why i picked you to start up top." But that was in the locker room and this is the real world. He took one last look at those lockers before walking up the stairs towards the field. "It's a privilege to be able to play in a cup final like this'," the team captain, Abraham, told him as the team stepped into the light. He used his hand to notion a kiss to the field before stepping foot in it.
0:25 He took a long glance at the crowd in red and blue. He had ignored all the screaming, until the only thing he could hear was his heartbeat. Rain poured against his young face. "Oi! Premature Wanker!" barked Chelsea players as they lined up to shake hands as a form of respect.
0:40 The whistle blew, but all Kurt heard was silence. He nearly stumbled as Abraham passed the ball to him, not sure what to do.
0:44 But then something was released inside of him. He felt back at home in Brazil. Then he started dribbling at light speed, easily passing through everyone with a series of spins, turns, and ball flicks. Until he slowed down, and lost the ball.
1:14 He knew that his coach's reputation and trust, the trust of his teammates, and even his trust for himself, rested on his performance today. "You're just a kid," he was told by his father before coming to Manchester. He would show everyone who Kurt da Silva was today. Those were the words in his head as he took a strike with his right foot from the halfway line...
1:45 "GOAL!" was the sound that came from everyone's lips. He couldn't believe it. He ran across the pitch with his arms at full stretch and index fingers pointed. It was followed by a huge group hug from everyone on the team and the chanting "da Silva, da Silva!" from the crowd. He had looked up to the sky, the rain and clouds were going away. He had gone from zero to hero. The rain was enough to cover the tears on his face.
Kevin Mejia per. 4
Waiting All My Life - Rascal Flatts
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhE_eh2ibdE
He felt as if his heart would beat right out of his chest. His hands were shaking uncontrollably. He was so disoriented that he was seeing colorful stars. No, he wasn't under the influence of any substances. He was about to ask a girl to prom.
Ethan was a shy kid, so asking somebody to prom was a huge step for him. Moreover, the girl he was asking, Rebecca, was in no way similar to him. She was outgoing and one of the most popular girls in the school. But somehow, Ethan had built up a solid friendship with Rebecca since freshman year, and considering that he had a huge crush on her, he’d decided that he’ll go to prom only if she accepts.
For weeks, Ethan had practiced what he would say in front of his mirror. He didn't plan one of those extraordinary prom proposals. He liked simplicity, so he kept his planned proposal simple. A month before prom, he approached Rebecca as she was laughing and talking to her friends.
“Hey Rebecca, can I get a minute to talk to you?” he asked nervously.
“Sure, homeboy!” Rebecca replied.
“So, like, you know prom’s a month away, and I don’t really have anyone to go with... So, I was thinking if, uh, you would go to prom with me?” Ethan asked.
“To be honest, I don’t have anybody to go with either, and I was thinking of asking you too. Since you asked first, yes, yes I would, Ethan.” She replied with a smile.
As he hugged her and walked away, he could barely control his excitement. Little did he know that prom would turn out to be the night he’d never forget.
*Near the end of prom*
As the DJ put on slow music and the lights were turned low, everybody without a date moved out of the dance floor as the couples started slow dancing.
“Can I confess something Ethan? Tonight seems like the perfect night to do so.” Rebecca said as she put her head on Ethan’s shoulder.
“Sure, Rebecca”, Ethan replied.
“Well, it’s been four years since we've been friends, but I've liked you since the day we met in our freshman year,” Rebecca said. “I was wondering if…”
Seizing the perfect moment, Ethan gently lifted her chin, and looking into her eyes, said, “So have I”.
Although nobody else in the room noticed, the two locked lips under the dim lights as they both experienced their first kiss.
415 words
Mad World by Gary Jules
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4
A man stares out of the back of a Humvee, peering through the crowd of rigid, silent men that occupied the rest of the space. He saw the barren wasteland, and the half-destroyed brick houses of natives that once lived there. Despair takes over him as his comrades slowly exit the vehicle and leave for their mission.
"It's time to go, Billy," his captain said as he patted him on the back. "Stop worrying."
But the thing is Bill couldn't stop worrying; they didn't know if they would return back to the headquarters the next day. He didn't know how to deal with the debilitating stress that was put on him each and every day. Bill nodded slowly, and began to exit into the broad, dusty wasteland.
He walked forward onto the sand, and moved slightly to the right to make room for the numerous tanks following the Humvee. He stared in silence as the enormous metal monsters clunked forward, leading the way for their convoy. As they moved, his thoughts wandered. He thought of what the tanks would be doing; destroying the already torn-apart wasteland of their enemies. He wished the enemy would just give up, so that they didn’t have to cause meaningless suffering upon them anymore.
At first, this was a peace attempt by the United British-American Colony (UBAC) to prevent the other side of the world, known as the Rebellious Association of the Common Earth (RACE) from launching nuclear weapons, but peace talks and debates quickly led to war and millions of innocent people massacred.
“BILLY!” Bill turned around and realized that the last of the tanks were far ahead of their convoy by now. His commander was eyeing him with a look of annoyance. “Stop daydreaming and move.”
In a side note, Happy New Year!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjiO532WIZM
ReplyDeleteJake slammed the door behind him and threw his hands on his face in an attempt to stop his streaming tears. He couldn't believe that he had lost all the trust that his wife had in him when she caught him with another woman. No matter how many times he tried to apologize she would not even look him in the eye. He wiped away all his tears and slowly walked toward the bathroom with his phone and a pack of pills.
When he reached the bathroom, he set down the pills and took out his phone. He looked for his wife's contact and began to furiously type without regrets.
"Hi, I know you really do not want to hear from me ever again, but please read this. I'm sorry for what I've done. I know you won't ever forgive me, but I'm truly sorry. I don't know what I would do if I was in your position but you always deal with difficult situations better than me. I remember the first day we met, back in college. I saw you reading my favorite book and I knew that I had to talk to you. To this day, I believe that was the best decision I have ever made. I don't think I will ever meet anyone who will understand me better than you, so I hope that you can understand where I'm coming from with this message. I really don't know what else to say, but don't bother racing home after reading this."
"Lucy, you need to talk to him," Carmen said unexpectedly. They were in Carmen's kitchen silently sipping tea after Lucy told Carmen what had happened. "I don't think I can ever look at him the same way," Lucy replied without emotion. Suddenly, her phone rang and she sighed as she took the phone out of her pocket. She stared at the name of the contact who sent the message and debated on whether to ignore it or read it. She decided to ignore it and tossed her phone on the couch as she finished her tea.
"Grapes of Wrath Instrumental" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deTWyFVmSv4
ReplyDeleteMike McMurry was enjoying his day on the farm. The bright sun was warming the ground, a cool breeze was blowing in from the north. The grass was bright green and perfect, like a healthy tree. The house had just been painted, and shone with a glossy brilliance. The cows were munching happily on grass, and the pigs had just been fed. Mike loved when things worked smoothly on the farm. This was why he disliked the chickens. The chickens always caused problems on the farm. From waking people in the middle of the night with loud noises, to making huge messes in the coop, the chickens were always doing something to disrupt the peaceful farm. But on a perfect August day like today, even the chickens would be peaceful and content. Or so Mike hoped. He walked over to the chicken coop with a steady stride. He listened at the side of the coop. It was quiet, almost too quiet. As soon as Mike opened the door to the coop, all the chickens came rushing out. Mike was knocked over and buried in a smelly, feathery avalanche. When he could finally stand again, the chickens were running all over the farm. They were harassing the pigs, knocking over buckets of milk, and even ripping out the grass with their beaks. The chickens were always a nuisance, but Mike had never seen them this angry, or organized. He tried to chase the chickens down, but they were crafty. Some chickens led him on toward the pigpen, and then just when he was about to catch them, they quickly dodged and Mike crashed into the gate of the pen. The gate opened, and the chickens chased the pigs out into the yard with their sharp beaks. Mike stood up out of the mud he had landed in and looked at the farm. The chickens were running amuck, and now crazed pigs were charging around smashing into everything. A group of chickens set the cows free, and they were walking around, stomping on everything from the grass to the front porch of the house. Mike sunk down to the floor, unable to comprehend what had just happened. In one fell swoop, the chickens had turned the farm from an orderly place where everything worked smoothly into a half-destroyed moshpit of screeching farm animals. Then Mike heard a noise. The front door of the house opened. A man came out with a shotgun. It was Pa. He fired once. He only had to fire once. He hit several chickens and killed them where they stood. Suddenly, everything stopped. The chickens became quiet. The pigs stopped screeching. The cows just sat there, not even chewing on grass. The animals were motionless. Then the chickens began to move back to the coop. Their wings dragged on the ground behind them as they marched back inside the coop, shut the gate, and just sat still. Mike brought the cows and the pigs back to their pens, and Pa went back inside. The farm, though it had suffered some serious damage, would recover. Then it grew dark. A cloud had covered the sun.
Word count:526
Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uq3nI11w4g
Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes puffy and red from the constant crying. It was unbearable-the loneliness, the emptiness, and the pain seemed to stab her heart multiple times and create scars that would never appear to heal. She attempted to push the memory away…to forget everything that happened that day, but it came flooding back as if to haunt her once more.
(Memory)
The air was crisp and teeming with laughters of joy and happiness; everyone seemed to be in the holiday spirits including herself and her family. She left her two children under the care and supervision of her mother while she and her husband, Devin, do some Christmas shopping at the nearest mall.
“Do you think Amy would like a bicycle for her present?”
“No, honey…remember, she asked Santa for a princess doll.”
“What about Eric?”
“A football…you never keep track of them, do you?” She playfully nudged him on his side as he messed up her hair.
“Ok, fine then...let’s go eat somewhere. In fact, I know where the best pizza restaurant is located.”
It was perfect; she had spent quality time with her husband and enjoyed delicious homemade pizzas. She couldn’t wait to see the delight in her children’s faces as they unwrap their gifts the next day. But these expectations and hopes-the bright future she had always envisioned for her family-is shattered and lost.
“Wait here, Nicole. I’ll go get the car.” He rushed to the car across the road without the slightest attention as to the advancing truck.
It all happened before her eyes, before she could respond and warn him earlier of the impending danger.
“NO, DEVIN, NO!” she shrieked helplessly. He swung his head to the source of his beloved wife’s voice, but it was too late.
(Memory Fades)
She tentatively reached out and traced the engraving of the cold stone slab for a while. Out of nowhere, she starts sobbing, “Why did you leave me here? Why? How could do this to me? Did you not love me?” Then, she stopped abruptly and left.
The next day, the police found a dead body of what appears to be a middle aged woman next to the grave stone marked “Devin Ross” and reported that the death had been a suicidal action:
“Sir, we have found a dead body of a middle aged woman holding a kitchen knife that was stained with dried blood. We had a detective and our fellow surgeon to investigate such possible actions for the suicide. The surgeon have already noted the deep gash found near her stomach and claims the possibility that she bled to death.”
“Have you reported such death to any of her relatives?”
“Yes sir. Her only relatives were her two children and her mother…they live not too far from the crime scene.”
“Perhaps you should interrogate them?”
“Yes sir, I will-”
Suddenly, two children and an elderly woman rushed to the scene. They laid their eyes on the dead body-her face pale and quite at ease-and sobbed quietly while embracing each other.
Life seems like chapters of goodbyes.
*This is in protest for gay rights!! I apologize if anyone who reads this is a homophobe, but this was the only way I imagined this! And I haven't written fiction in a pretty long time, so I apologize again if its now flowing properly!!* (not a part of word count)
ReplyDeleteGay is sin.
He stood rock still, still in shock since his friend had broken the news to him earlier. He stared down into the black coffin, his gaze fixated on the face of his lover. The police had come to contact him too, knocking on the door with the cold facts of his lover's murder in their grasp. He reached down, his hand trembling as he softly stroked the tan skin if his lover, his own pale skin greatly contrasting.
The coroners had cleaned off all the blood and dressed Ahiro up in a white suit. It didn't suit (100) him; only royal blue had looked well on him.
He tore away from the coffin, running out of the mausoleum and into the bite of cold air. He slammed his fist into the hard stone wall of the structure, not even caring about the pain. A raven cried out from somewhere above him, as if it were mocking his pain.
He swore before staggering off towards the town, determined to drink himself into oblivion. It was all his fault...he had killed Ahiro, the one he loved.
Ahiro had originally been straight, but he had changed the other (200) because he'd made the Ahiro fall for him - just as he himself had fallen for the other.
But society looked upon them as dirty miscreants that were trying to destroy the "balance" of the rules set by them. And they had killed Ahiro - ganged up on him in an alleyway and had set to him with crowbars, bats, and metal pipes that had left no chance to fight back. He could have fought back though, and beaten them, but he had always had a caring heart and had refused to fight back. So he had died, for those damn bastards. (300)
He was back at the mausoleum...he just couldn't keep himself away from his loved one's side. He stared down
at the pale face of the once vibrant man and still couldn't accept the fact that he was really dead....
He howled in frustration, tear tracks marring his skin. Oh damn, how useless he was! He couldn't even protect the one who had helped him along so many times. His knees hit the floor and he hunched over himself, not caring about how his once perfect dress shirt and pants were being rumpled. He didn't care anymore...
He was still (400) there, by the side if his loved one. He wasn't eating, wasn't drinking, wasn't sleeping - he just stayed there, motionless, still in the depths of grief. He didn't know what to do anymore, not now that Ahiro was gone forever.
He just couldn't stay like this, still breathing while Ahiro could no longer draw in another breath. He just couldn't anymore - the pain was too much, just tearing its way out of him and ripping him to shreds.
He was sitting next to the coffin, ready to go. He unwrapped the razor and slowly drew it across his wrist....no, (500) he wasn't grieving any longer - he was coming for Ahiro.
Total word count: 510
Ermmmm....I hope my writing was okay!
Also, Mr. Ferencz...I realized that I didn't know your email so I tried this thing again...and it worked. :)