I've provided a link to a PDF file that contains three Oedipus's Dilemma papers. For our discussion, I'd like you to first read your Oedipus paper along with the comments/problems that I presented to you. Then, take a look at one of these papers, if not all of them, and analyze these works for their successes.
Here are some ideas you might want to consider:
-Is this thesis clear and understandable?
-Does the author go on to prove his/her thesis throughout the paper? How?
-How much background information is provided? Is it enough? Too little? Goldilocks? (just right)
-How does the author utilize evidence?
-Is the quote isolated and explained sufficiently?
-How does the paper flow? Do you note any successful examples of transition?
-What kind of tone does the author utilize? What is the effect of this tone?
-Any other suggestions as to why these papers received high marks.
Feel free to comment on the paper or other people's comments. Don't be shy about your shortcomings in writing. We're all in the same boat. At some point in our writing careers, we all made mistakes. We improved when we not only understood the nature of our mistakes, but engaged in some meaningful discussion about how to improve.
Remember, writing isn't some magical skill that you either have or you don't. Writing is a skill that anyone can learn, but you have to be ready to put aside your ego and admit that you need help. Only then can you have some truly groundbreaking discussions that will aid in the process of becoming a better writer.
Make me proud sophomores.
I noticed that each paper, specifically the second one, has very organized structure. The papers start by introducing the concept of a conflict between good and good. They immediately state the cause and nature of the conflict, and one by one, explain both sides of the dilemma. For each side of the conflict, there is one sentence stating the good intention at conflict, followed by textual evidence to support it, and an explanation to explain the quote. After explaining both sides, there is a section that explains how the two options are at conflict, and how a reader could empathize with both options. Each paper stays on topic, and is concise and effective.
ReplyDeleteReading each paper, I can see why those writers got high grades. It's not a specific formula or science that gets these writers A's. It's how they support a concrete thesis with important textual evidence with clarity and flow. For example, the first paper has a good, clear thesis. What stands out though is the writer's evidence from the story. He/She spends a good amount of effort giving the quote(s) the support they need, and further elaborates with his/her own experiences. This gives the reader a sense of understanding and connection. The author of the second paper truly deserves my applause for his/her excellent use of quotes. The writer starts off explaining the situation of the story expertly and concisely. The quotes he/she selects are basically perfect, doing a good job of textual evidence. the quotes also have good back-up too, with thorough explanations for each one. If I didn't read the story, I'd still be able to follow along with the writer's thought process and ideas. As for paper three, I feel as if it takes the best qualities of each paper and combines it into their own. The author's tone is professional but relatable when it comes to the part of the paper about the personal experience. Overall, each paper has their own strengths and weaknesses. But when looking at the overall product and focusing on focal parts of each writer's paper, it's not surprising to see why they got the grades they received. Now it is I who hopes to see my paper here someday, serving as a role model for aspiring writers in their Classical Literature class. But at the moment, I'll set aside my ego and learn from these amazing writers, hoping to become one myself.
ReplyDeleteIn each paper, I saw that the thesis was clear and not confusing. I also saw that they then went into detail to prove each part of their thesis. For example, in the second paper, one part of the thesis says that a tragedy is composed of two opposing decisions. The next paragraph then explains what the decisions are and how they affect Oedipus. In the other part of the thesis, it says that a tragedy can be sympathized with. In the next paragraph, he proves this by telling the reader all the negative effects the choices cause and ending the paragraph by saying how these effects can cause readers to sympathize for Oedpius, effectively supporting his thesis. I also liked how each quote was placed in the essay. I noticed that each quote was not just placed out of nowhere; each writer says who says the quote and then places the quote so that is sounds smooth and is as if the quote isn't even there. Also, I noticed that the background information often led to the transition into the quote, which added to the smoothness and clearness of the essay. All of these things resulted in each writer's essay becoming more supported, clear, and understood. Therefore, it is easy to see why these essays got such high grades.In each paper, I saw that the thesis was clear and not confusing. I also saw that they then went into detail to prove each part of their thesis. For example, in the second paper, one part of the thesis says that a tragedy is composed of two opposing decisions. The next paragraph then explains what the decisions are and how they affect Oedipus. In the other part of the thesis, it says that a tragedy can be sympathized with. In the next paragraph, he proves this by telling the reader all the negative effects the choices cause and ending the paragraph by saying how these effects can cause readers to sympathize for Oedpius, effectively supporting his thesis. I also liked how each quote was placed in the essay. I noticed that each quote was not just placed out of nowhere; each writer says who says the quote and then places the quote so that is sounds smooth and is as if the quote isn't even there. Also, I noticed that the background information often led to the transition into the quote, which added to the smoothness and clearness of the essay. All of these things resulted in each writer's essay becoming more supported, clear, and understood. Therefore, it is easy to see why these essays got such high grades.
ReplyDeleteWhat I noticed in each paper is the condensed easy-to-understand summaries. All the background needed is given--no more, no less. Also, the information is weaved into the essay to make transitions between quotes successful. The quotes themselves are well-selected and given a good frame. The speaker is always cited and there's at least a sentence explaining how they arrived at their interpretation of the quote.
ReplyDeleteI think how each writer approached the task of proving their respective theses is interesting. They're pretty specific. The second one, for example, states in the thesis that a tragedy has readers sympathizing and feeling conflicted. The last sentence of its first paragraph sort of brings attention back to the thesis by specifically saying
The tone each writer adapted seems very neutral, not colloquial (even during their own personal retelling of an experience) nor alienating. The vocabulary is fine; none of the words would require the average reader to look up in a dictionary. So in addition to being easy to read, each essay sounds intelligent with their respective analyses.
I also can't help but notice all of the essays' last sentences use the word "empathize" (the third one uses the word "emphasize" but I think it might have meant "empathize"). Interesting...
Anyway, my compliments to these writers.